Father True and Merciful

"There is nothing like YOUR love".


I started this blog because I feel that I have lots of things to share about. Since I was little (8 years old) until very recently, I used to have a journal, a diary. I used to write poems and some silly girl stuff n_n. I no longer think like I used to (thank God!), but I feel that it used to be easier to write and to express myself years ago.
I feel that my thoughts are about to explode in my mind. A lot of emotions spinning around me are driving me crazy. I will try to catch them, to "transmit" them.
I don't even know where to start from!
God I'm thankful!
I am sitting at the table of the beautiful home God has given me. I am waiting for a husband who's tender and kind to me. I came back from a job that dries me out but that I love. I came back with smiles in my mind. With sad faces in my mind. Sometimes I have to admit (well... not sometimes, but most of the time) that I have to say to myself not to be too attached to those things... I mean... I recieve them with all of my heart, but there is certainly a very thin line there. I can say that Jesus is my satisfaction, but if I'd lose everything tomorrow, would I be so firm as Job? would I be quiet and listen? I hope I would.
God has been more than good to me. He has taught me a lot. I can say that I am free, free to worship Him, free to enjoy Him, free to forgive, free.
Deep in that joy, that joy of having a life that I never imagined, a life that I couldn't even dream of, there is pain. My heart wishes to get to Him. My heart wishes to be there in His presence. My soul cries out for Him.
My soul cries out for the world. It is amazingly strange how the heart transforms into what He wants. I cry a lot (I think that being a woman has something to do with it). I cry for my students. I cry at their looks, so many sad eyes, so many empty looks, they are so young!!
He is True. I've felt it in my bones.
There is no way I could've endend where I am with the things I've done. I am the selfish one, the greedy one, the envious one, the drunk, the murderer. That is who I am.


Another thing to be thankful. Music.
My soul enjoys music. I am not a good singer, but I do sing my lungs off when I am alone at home. "There is nothing like Your Love". The sound of the instruments are just amazing. David Sylvian and Ryuichi Sakamoto. Great for any calmed afternoon.


A very dear friend of mine was recently diagnosed with SLE. I felt so bad because I hadn't been in touch with her for four years maybe. (Alone in Kyoto, Air). Funny thing. I am constantly visiting her at the hospital and I had also lunch with one of my best friends today. I have talked to my favorite cousin (that I haven't seen since Christmas) and I visited my mother in law this weekend after a long time (we always say she lives too far away but we have no excuse).

Point is... I feel satisfied. I AM FULFILLED (You make it easy, Air)

Taking care

Long week...
Sorry for not updating earlier (someone told me that I was behind schedule, you know who you are).
The school evaluations are two weeks away. Kids are crazy because some of them know that they haven't done all their assignements and projects. So, some of them have been giving the projects to me lately. As much as I would love to say: "You can't give it to me anymore, it's out of due date..." I just love what they do to convince me :D it's just funny. And, they have given me really nice projects. Next week, I expect to receive the last ones, I will have an exposition of them (I promise pictures!).
Wednesday all teachers had to go to a special activity that the Ministerio de Educación (Education Minitry), no school (you could find all kinds of comments about it on FB, like "no school, yeah!!!" "we don't miss teachers" and so, and so...).
Thursday... School was nice, on the afternoon we went with Ivan to watch Harry Potter. I just loved it! Caramel Popcorns... mmmm... my favorites.
Friday! I went with my older brother Jetro and my mom to the hospital. She had a gallstone and from a while it has been making my mom feel very ill. Her feet were swallowed and her blood preasure was high (she started on high blood preasure medicine), she hasn't been feeling good for the past three of four months. Of course, to have the gallstone removed, she needed to be carefully checked and it took time, like a month and a half. She went into surgery like at 8, 8:30 in the morning, she was out of the hospital at noon!!!!
We came home with her, then, Jetro and I went to buy some stuff for her and for lunch and after lunch I had to go to my final session (of an English Teaching Methodology course that I am taking). I was back at 6.
Ivan and I slept here at my parents, because my mom needs help and though my brothers take care of the food and other stuff, I just think they need a women's touch n_n. Also, she wants me to take her to the bathroom and help her get change and that sorth of stuff. Girls' stuff.
Believe it or not, I missed my students yersterday.
I am so glad to have my mom here. I am glad she didn't have to stay in the hospital. That would've been depressing. It's funny to see her sleeping or watching t.v. on her bed. I can tell that by this time, she is already tired of it. She is a very active woman.
O.k... here's other thing. To take care of my mom means to take care of my dad also. He's so spoiled. I had to take breakfast to his bed today. And he woke mom with his music too early this morning. Funny... I love that man a lot. And I love my mom.
It has been a while since I started to think about not having my parents. I don't know when it could happen. I mean... my grandparents (my mom's parents) are still alive, but my other grandparents already died. After fighting with my parents, blaming them for a lot of things and being mad at them for so many things, I finally accepted that God gave me really nice parents. Our relation may not be a perfect one (speacially with my dad, with whom I never share to many personal thoughts), but I would never change them for anyone or anything. I love my family (a very messed family).
I'm gonna check my mom now, and start cooking lunch.
Have a nice weekend.
Blessings

Why this?

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, 
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, 
but do not have love, I am nothing. 
If I give all I possess to the poor 
and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,
 but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 Love is patient, love is kind. 
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 
It does not dishonor others, 
it is not self-seeking, 
it is not easily angered, 
it keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
It always protects, always trusts, 
always hopes, always perseveres.
 Love never fails. 
 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. 

But the greatest of these is love.

I talked to my husband about making this blog just to share some of the many stories we can share day to day. When we discussed about the name for the blog, he suggested "Love does exist". Everyday, we wake up believing in God's love. He showed His love to us through Jesus. We live God's love everyday because we know that there is no other way we could have the life that we have if there were no Love (this is, God). We have known perople that God has used to show us MORE of His love, like our pastor Alvaro Perdomo and his wife Lety, from Shalom church (the church we attend) who are my husband's mentors. Our marriage (almost 2 years now) is another proof of God's love. I never expected to have such a wonderful husband as Ivan. I know that we are just at the begining of this "race", but even when we got engaged I didn't know what to expect. I have made so many mistakes in my life, I have hurt so many people that I thought I couldn't have a chance to have a different life. 

There is always something that I remember when I think about my wedding day and my marriage. The same year that I was getting married, like four months before my wedding, there was a couple  at church, friends of ours, who got married. Three or four weeks after they got married, one of them said to both of us: "After you got married, I give three weeks until you get bored." Ivan and I stared at each other surprised and scared. But, after almost two years (soon I'll be telling you about our anniversary), we usually saY to our youth: "You should all get married, LOVE DOES EXIST." It is sad how people doesn't believe in marriage anymore, even in a place as conservative as Guatemala. 

So, WHY THIS BLOG??

To share the stories of love we live day through day and to come back and remember ourselves that LOVE is so much more than we expect or think we know.